Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
BRING THE BAGELS
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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