The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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