girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
