dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
