Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
