oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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