I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
