They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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