My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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