the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
