Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
