Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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