Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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