we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
