If i come over, it means nothing
we have officially lost it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
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