Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I've blown a few things in my day
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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