Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
