Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
