Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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