Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
