id be glad to
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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