I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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