My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
