go do what you do best...puke behind churches
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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