if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
