what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
