Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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