Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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