that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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