is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
