I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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