Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
