This is not my ceiling
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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