I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
