Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
