...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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