I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
