You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
