Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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