Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
