u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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