Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
