...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can text with my tongue
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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