I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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