I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
