I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I bet he comes in French.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
