Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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