using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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