Well apparently he's into motor boating.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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