Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
