when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
People in love make me want to vomit
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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