Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
