I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
